Actually I’m a little creeped out by the turtles looking like muscular humans. Why is it cooler for it to be a turtle than for it to be any of those other things? I don’t think it is. Otherwise they could be humans or kangaroos or talking pants, it really makes no difference. Why should this story be about turtles? Well, because in one part they use their shells to bash a guy, and in one other part one of them ducks his head into his shell. So the turtles go into hiding on the reporter’s farm for a while, then come back to where they were before and get attacked by the ninjas again. When four muscular humanoid talking turtle ninja stoners who live in a sewer raised by a wise human-sized talking rat take in an unconscious TV reporter, the ninjas kidnap and torture the rat. The story is about a New York City (shot in North Carolina) overrun by teen pickpockets trained by ninjas in an underground lair. This is one of those weird pop culture phenomenon that, removed from its original context, turns out to make no god damn sense. One major problem, though: it’s about teenage mutant ninja turtles. It has early performances by Elias Koteas and Sam Rockwell, and stuntwork by Ernie Reyes Jr. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (1990) is a martial arts fantasy produced by Raymond Chow and Golden Harvest (ENTER THE DRAGON), with excellent animatronic and puppet effects by Jim Henson, and impressively agile fight and stunt sequences involving people in full body rubber creature suits.
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